The Darkness that Lurks in the Heart of Customer Service

I got mad yesterday. Actually, I'm understating that. Let me put this in context for you. I am the Queen of stoicism. Someone calls me at work, is screaming and yelling at me, calling me names that would make even the most vile mouthed people blush I'm calm, collected and never raise my voice. It's psychological warfare, they're out to kill, loot and plunder people at the Cable Company, and you're the front line. Make them rethink their chosen course of action. Take one for the team.

However yesterday I received a call from a gentleman, he was very collected (I won't say calm and collected because he was DEFINITELY agitated). All his questions made sense, but he wouldn't let me explain. He wouldn't let me even finish my sentences. And to compound the situation he kept saying he had NOTHING against me. I'm sorry folks, that's one thing you don't want to say to a Customer Service Rep. Sure, we know you don't mean ill against us, our mothers, and our ancestors, but you're still taking it out on us! We're still being punished for it! That's why there are so many bitter, burned out and sadistic customer service people in the world. We've got to put up with constant hypocrisy from those people who 'have nothing against us' but still will beat us with a lead pipe in the back alley.


Let me continue with the rest of my story. So, he gets on the phone and first thing out of his mouth is 'Gee Thanks for finally picking up the phone.' I start to explain that because he called at a peak hour the hold time is longer than normal. (FYI, the best time to call a cable company is at 9pm or after midnight, but never on a night when there is a huge game on TV, or a payperview fight) He didn't even let me finish. Immediately accusing me of spouting out excuses just to get the customer to shut up. Yeah, sure. We purposefully put customers on hold for twenty minutes just to get them nice and pissed off before we don't deal with their problems. This individual does not have cable. Well, it's Saturday night, after 5pm, on Labor day weekend. Other people have been calling in all day with the same problem. They're the ones that are going to get the tech first. But noooooo... Apparently I am speaking to our most important customer, whose needs are above the needs of all the other customers who called in before the local offices closed.

To add a bit of sardonic humor to all this, his explanation as to why he was more important was because his priorities were better than other people's. He even gave me an example. Said that if a man went to a liquor store to get beer and he didn't have the money he would never buy the beer. But someone with whacked out priorities would use his credit card to buy the beer. Puh-leeese. That's almost as bad as the argument that they need a tech out immediately because their time is more valuable than ours and the tech's. So why do they spend that valuable time sitting on their butts watching TV? I'd love to get paid to do that. I'd also love to counter with that question, but I'd probably get fired. Maybe the last day I work I'll do that. I can dream.

So this isn't the worst part. The guy kept me on the phone for over half an hour. Normally I don't have a problem with this, but we just kept repeating the same things over and over again!! When we finally hang up, I had to go on break. That was so nasty of a phone call my stomach (already ulcer ridden) was in a knot.

The moral of today's story? Don't abuse customer service people, or they'll abuse you!